Many cultures practice the art of paying the bride price. In fact, it is one of the traditions that is okay with many women and men. Ask anyone out there whether they object to payment of bride price and the rude remark would be, "How would you feel if your own daughter was married to a stranger without receiving anything in return?" I have been asked this question several times when I bring up a discussion on bride price. Today as I write this piece I am confused on whether I support bride price or not. I imagine my daughter years from now looking at me with teary eyes demanding to know why I gave her out for 'Free.' In the beginning, before I had been asked the question, I thought I would be the proud father who declared triumphantly that, "As long as you two are happy, you have my blessings." Anyway, time will tell.
Before we discuss the issue of bride price, I wish to point out that bride price and dowry are two different entities. Bride price is the money or property given to the parents of the bride by the parents of the groom while dowry, according to the online dictionary, is the amount of money or property brought by the bride to her husband after marriage. Dowry seem a tad more reasonable than bride price. However, few cultures practice this tradition. Bride price, on the other hand, is widely practised by many cultures and as things stand may be here for some time.
Proponents of bride price contend that it is a token of appreciation to the girl's parents for raising her well or for giving the groom the opportunity to marry their daughter. remember, in some cultures parents are inclined to refuse a suit. In fact, some cultures have defined the number or quantity of property to be given to the parents of the bride as the bride price. In many cultures, this is in the form of animals. Although the number is supposed to be manageable, it has now been inflated by affluence and sometimes to ward off men who cannot reach up to the parents' expectations. Some parents inflate the price depending on the quality of education offered to the girl or her purity.
Critics feel that the act of bride price is in itself an insult to women given the milestones we have made in our attempt to achieve gender equality. Where the bride price is overly inflated, it looks as though the girl is a property on sale or she is being sold into slavery. Furthermore, it limits the expression of love, especially where girl's parents are inclined to use it as a pedestal to sift through prospective grooms. And finally, it puts undue burden to the groom since he has to work extra hard to achieve the set bride price.
In Blossoms of the Savannah, Kaelo agrees to let one of his daughters marry Oloisudori Lonkiyaa- the rich extortionist who had guaranteed Kaelo the loan for business and lucrative government contracts. Caught between the dilemma of losing such a lucrative business associate and his daughter. Kaelo decides to let Resian marry Oloisudori. In order to show that his intentions are valid, Oluisuduri pays bride price of half a million shillings (pg188). The bride price, coupled with the grandeur and magnificence of Oloisudori's life blinds Kaelo from the brutality and devious mannerisms of the man. In fact, he warms up to the fact that Oloisudori could become his son-in-law (166 & 194). What is more intriguing though is the fact that Kaelo does not consider it necessary to inform his daughter of her betrothal. In this case, Resian is like Kaelo's property which can be sold without being consulted. For many who are irrational, prospective grooms who display grandeur and success get what they want regardless of the expectations of the expectations the girl has. It is in this respect that Kaelo justifies himself as doing a great favour for his daughter without considering her position in the whole matter. According to Kaelo, he was doing the best a father could for his daughter. All she had to do was accept or be forced to accept her father's 'love.' (pg192)
Oloisudori, on the other hand, believes that bride price is a permit to get whatever he desires. Instead of courting Resian, he arrogantly informs her that she is officially his wife (pg204). His lack of mannerisms compels him to follow the girls to the rescue center at Ntaare Naaju and demand that Minik should let him take one of the girls. His justification is that he had paid enough bride price for both of them and as a compromise, he was only going to take one (pg283).
Therefore, it is imperative to consider the value and essence of bride price in matrimony. Where beautiful girls are displayed and auctioned off to the highest bidder, it becomes more of an insult to feminism that fulfilling the cultural right or giving a token of appreciation. Furthermore, the girl should be involved in the discussion and her feelings and desire be put into account. If well handled, bride price may end up being a token of appreciation and a tradition that binds two families since africans are known to be an extended family with many relations.
Before we discuss the issue of bride price, I wish to point out that bride price and dowry are two different entities. Bride price is the money or property given to the parents of the bride by the parents of the groom while dowry, according to the online dictionary, is the amount of money or property brought by the bride to her husband after marriage. Dowry seem a tad more reasonable than bride price. However, few cultures practice this tradition. Bride price, on the other hand, is widely practised by many cultures and as things stand may be here for some time.
Proponents of bride price contend that it is a token of appreciation to the girl's parents for raising her well or for giving the groom the opportunity to marry their daughter. remember, in some cultures parents are inclined to refuse a suit. In fact, some cultures have defined the number or quantity of property to be given to the parents of the bride as the bride price. In many cultures, this is in the form of animals. Although the number is supposed to be manageable, it has now been inflated by affluence and sometimes to ward off men who cannot reach up to the parents' expectations. Some parents inflate the price depending on the quality of education offered to the girl or her purity.
Critics feel that the act of bride price is in itself an insult to women given the milestones we have made in our attempt to achieve gender equality. Where the bride price is overly inflated, it looks as though the girl is a property on sale or she is being sold into slavery. Furthermore, it limits the expression of love, especially where girl's parents are inclined to use it as a pedestal to sift through prospective grooms. And finally, it puts undue burden to the groom since he has to work extra hard to achieve the set bride price.
In Blossoms of the Savannah, Kaelo agrees to let one of his daughters marry Oloisudori Lonkiyaa- the rich extortionist who had guaranteed Kaelo the loan for business and lucrative government contracts. Caught between the dilemma of losing such a lucrative business associate and his daughter. Kaelo decides to let Resian marry Oloisudori. In order to show that his intentions are valid, Oluisuduri pays bride price of half a million shillings (pg188). The bride price, coupled with the grandeur and magnificence of Oloisudori's life blinds Kaelo from the brutality and devious mannerisms of the man. In fact, he warms up to the fact that Oloisudori could become his son-in-law (166 & 194). What is more intriguing though is the fact that Kaelo does not consider it necessary to inform his daughter of her betrothal. In this case, Resian is like Kaelo's property which can be sold without being consulted. For many who are irrational, prospective grooms who display grandeur and success get what they want regardless of the expectations of the expectations the girl has. It is in this respect that Kaelo justifies himself as doing a great favour for his daughter without considering her position in the whole matter. According to Kaelo, he was doing the best a father could for his daughter. All she had to do was accept or be forced to accept her father's 'love.' (pg192)
Oloisudori, on the other hand, believes that bride price is a permit to get whatever he desires. Instead of courting Resian, he arrogantly informs her that she is officially his wife (pg204). His lack of mannerisms compels him to follow the girls to the rescue center at Ntaare Naaju and demand that Minik should let him take one of the girls. His justification is that he had paid enough bride price for both of them and as a compromise, he was only going to take one (pg283).
Therefore, it is imperative to consider the value and essence of bride price in matrimony. Where beautiful girls are displayed and auctioned off to the highest bidder, it becomes more of an insult to feminism that fulfilling the cultural right or giving a token of appreciation. Furthermore, the girl should be involved in the discussion and her feelings and desire be put into account. If well handled, bride price may end up being a token of appreciation and a tradition that binds two families since africans are known to be an extended family with many relations.
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